Though divorce no longer has the same stigma it once had, not everyone around you will greet the news of your impending divorce with support or enthusiasm. It is not uncommon for adults getting divorced to receive criticism from those who feel they should continue the relationship or believe their reasons for leaving are not valid. Not having support during this critical time in your life is hurtful and can add to the stress of the divorce. Knowing ways to cope with negative commentary about your divorce will help you get through this difficult time.
Remember Their Background
Certain people, especially older adults in your life, often come from different backgrounds that affects how they view divorce. In the past, divorce was heavily stigmatized and difficult to obtain, leading to parents or grandparents viewing divorce more harshly than most do today. Friends or relatives from different countries that view divorce as something unpleasant may actively avoid or openly disapprove of your choice to get divorce. Though this behavior is hurtful, keep their background in mind and remember that is sometimes hard for people to change how they view divorce in general.
Do Not Lose Focus of Your Needs
The choice to get divorced is not an easy one and is typically influenced by your own emotional or physical needs. People who react negatively to your decision to end your marriage often advise you to remember your children, parents, or spouse at the expensive of your own desires. Never lose focus of your own needs and do not dismiss your valid feelings simply because those around you believe that you should. Staying in a relationship for financial reasons or out of guilt is not healthy and can harm everyone involved.
Remind Those Against the Split That They did Not See Everything
One of the primary reason people, especially parents, react negatively to the news of a divorce is because they did not witness everything that happened between you and your spouse. They only see the public side of the relationship, often failing to realize how often you hid your feelings. Unless a person has witnessed every single moment of a relationship, they rarely have the knowledge and information needed to make an accurate judgment on whether the relationship should continue or end.
Assure Them That They Will Still See the Children
Parents, grandparents, and other in-laws immediately think that because a marriage is ending they will not see the children of the relationship again. This leads to negative commentary that is based on fear. Make sure the people in your life understand that they will continue to have a relationship with your children even if you do not obtain full custody.
Vayman & Teitelbaum
When those in your life are not providing the support you need, retaining a divorce attorney who can provide you with the help you need becomes even more important. The compassionate attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum are able to give you the legal representation you deserve along with emotional support you need. Contact one of our Atlanta metro area locations to schedule an initial consultation today.