One of the things that children fear the most is the divorce of their parents. Behind this fear is a real concern because approximately 40% to 50% of all married couples in this country end up divorcing.
While it is natural to want to protect your children, divorce often results in children experiencing some degree of pain. As a result, this article reviews some helpful strategies you should follow when discussing divorce with your children.
Timing is Crucial
Do not disclose details about the divorce until you are certain that you have decided to end your marriage. If you have not yet made up your mind, the conversation about divorce is not worth sharing with your children.
When the conversation does occur, it is critical to select a moment when there is a sufficient amount of time to discuss the divorce with your children. This way there will be no need to rush or gloss over your children’s questions.
Avoid Placing Blame
Regardless of the factors that led to your divorce, you should avoid placing blame on the other spouse when speaking to your children. It is also a wise idea to avoid discussing the details about the events leading up to the end of your marriage. It is critical to follow this advice regardless of how angry or upset you are about your spouse’s behavior.
Do Not Disclose Details
Even though your children are aware of your divorce, it is a good idea to keep details about the matter out of these conversations. You should similarly avoid having discussions anywhere that your children might be able to listen in on the conversation.
Tell Your Children Together
You and your spouse should agree to tell your children at the same time, even if you disagree about every other aspect of the end of your marriage. Sharing these details in such a way avoids leaving the children uncertain about what exact factors led to the divorce.
Taking ownership of your divorce in such a way also avoids leaving your children with the feeling that they were in any way responsible for things.
Keep it Simple
While the emotions and subject are complex ones, it is a good idea to speak with your children about the divorce in simple terms. It is also a good idea to speak as honestly and straightforwardly as you can about the end of your marriage.
The way in which you disclose matters should also be influenced by your children’s age and maturity level. Be prepared for children to ask many questions. You should similarly be prepared to respond in a compassionate and sympathetic way.
Contact a Knowledgeable Divorce Lawyer
The more smoothly you can proceed through a divorce, the easier a time your children are likely to have. One of the best ways to make sure your divorce proceeds quickly and easily is to retain the assistance of an experienced divorce lawyer.
Contact Vayman & Teitelbaum, P.C. today to schedule a free case evaluation.