After the dust kicked up by a divorce has settled, many parents discover that it is challenging to adapt to single life again. Over the last couple of decades with the introduction of internet technology, dating has changed substantially. Not to mention, dating with children is much more difficult than dating while single. Additionally, time restraints can make it difficult to see anyone or go on dates.
Given all these factors, it should come as no surprise that some people following a divorce decide to remain single for the rest of their lives. If you do decide to date, however, you quickly discover that there are a number of obstacles that can arise in introducing a new romantic partner to your children. The following will review some of the helpful strategies that you can follow to make certain that your new dating life proceeds as smoothly as possible.
Take Things Slowly
If you have children under the age of six, introducing a new partner might seem easy. If children are older, however, they might have a more difficult time accepting that you are seeing someone new. The best way to overcome these challenges is to take time in slowly introducing your child to the new partner.
There is no downside in having a child warm up to the idea that you are dating someone new gradually over weeks or months. If you are seeing someone while a divorce is still pending or immediately after a divorce is finalized, it is even more important to move slowly.
It is just as good advice for people without children who are dating, but you should make sure to adequately screen the person you are considering dating. This includes determining whether they have a criminal history, a history of substance abuse, have been previously married, have children from another relationship, and how well they manage money. While these questions might seem very serious to ask early on in a relationship, it is important that your children not be exposed to someone dangerous.
It is important to understand that children of divorce are likely still attached to their other parent. This means that you will never find a substitute for the other parent, and you should not expect that your new partner will be that for your children. If you decide to let your new partner move in with you, you should make sure that your children have plenty of notice ahead of time.
Some parents even use the tactic of having the child meet the new partner in a fun and casual setting so that they can begin to enjoy one another’s company. It is also important to understand that being too intimate with your partner around your children often results in children experiencing more difficulty accepting that their parent is seeing someone new.
Speak with an Experienced Family Law Attorney
There are a number of complex issues that can arise during a divorce. To successfully navigate each of these obstacles, it can be helpful to obtain the assistance of an experienced attorney. Contact Vayman & Teitelbaum, P.C. today to schedule a free initial consultation.