Loyalty is one of the foundational elements of marriage, and the longer a marriage lasts, the more deeply ingrained loyalty often becomes. Studies have shown that loyalty during a marriage makes a family happier, but during a divorce, your past relationship norms could cause problems.  While most focus on the way a divorce divides children, after years of building a life with your spouse, you might also feel conflicted about certain aspects of your separation. Unfortunately, your habit of loyalty can hurt you during a divorce if your focus on being honest with your spouse takes precedence over your own ability to get a fair settlement.

Written Messages Get Misrepresented

During a divorce, some adults feel the need to communicate through email, text message, or even social media about their emotions. These messages could be love notes written by a spouse who is having second thoughts about divorce or a spouse who really wants a relationship to work.  Regardless, these written messages could hurt you later when your spouse’s attorney presents them as documentation during the divorce proceedings. An attorney can misconstrue your words or actual meaning in order to help your spouse at your expense.

Your Spouse Cannot be Your Confidant

It is common for people who are married to refer to their spouse as their best friend. However, once the marriage slides into separation and leads into divorce, treating your spouse as your best friend can be dangerous. Continuing the habit of confiding in your spouse when you are going through a divorce can endanger your position during divorce negotiations. Though you might trust your spouse enough to continue disclosing to him or her, it is important that you remember that anything you say could be used against you later by the opposing attorney.   

Social Media Will be Used Against You

Even if you stop telling your spouse everything, social media could still be your downfall. A person who is still loyal to a spouse or feels as though they are still friends may not consider unfriending them on social media or limiting what they can view. This can cause serious problems later if your spouse sees posts of you shopping, going on trips, or even dating prior to your divorce being finalized. Social media posts are now being used as evidence during divorces and your habit of trusting your spouse can give his or her attorney all the ammunition necessary to turn your divorce into a nightmare.

Put Your Trust in an Attorney

After years of being loyal to a spouse, if you are concerned that you will jeopardize your case by providing your ex with more information than necessary, place your trust in your attorney instead. Allowing your divorce attorney to act as an intermediary between you and your spouse ensures that sensitive information is not accidentally disclosed. The attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum understand that it is not easy to stop indulging in habits and patterns that took years to establish. We focus on giving you the legal support you need during this difficult period and create a buffer between you and your spouse while you learn to navigate your new relationship.  Contact our Atlanta area office today to schedule a consultation.