When recently talking about his divorce from Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt told GQ Style in an interview, “I heard one lawyer say, ‘No one wins in court – it’s just a matter of who gets hurt worse.’” He also explained, “It’s just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart.” While divorce is certainly emotionally difficult on the spouses, the children who are involved suffer emotional trauma, as well. How the parents behave towards each other can make a big difference regarding how the children cope with the changes that come as a result of the divorce.
This means that even when the parents cannot stand each other, they have to make a conscious effort to work together for the sake of the children. If possible, the parents should both tell the children in an age appropriate way that they are about to separate and get a divorce. Explaining this early on, instead of simply letting things happen and not involving the children, can help them begin to adapt more quickly. It also gives the parents a chance to reassure the children that their parents will still love them.
One of the most important things to remember is that, even when the marriage is over, the parents have to co-parent for years afterward. Co-parenting takes a great deal of cooperation and if the parents cannot cooperate. That is why the state of Georgia requires divorcing couples with children to take a Divorcing Parents Seminar before the divorce can be finalized. Another way divorcing parents can work things out amicably is to look into mediation.
Talk, Talk, Talk
Along the same lines, it is important to encourage your children to talk to you about how they feel. During the interview, Brad Pitt also talked about how important it is to talk to your kids about the divorce. He explained, “Well, there’s a lot to tell them because there’s understanding the future, there’s understanding the immediate moment and why we’re at this point, and then it brings up a lot of issues from the past that we haven’t talked about.”
Spending Time with the Kids During and After the Divorce
If there is a visitation schedule in place, parents should make sure that they are on time and never cancel without warning. Children thrive on routines, and failing to show up or constantly showing up late can be hard on the children and make dealing with the divorce worse. If a parent fails to show up without explanation, the other parent should not say negative things about the no-show parent to the children because this could damage the relationship between the children and that parent.
If parents can settle issues pertaining to visitation and custody among themselves, or with help from their attorneys, it can present an easier transition for all involved, and even make the children’s daily routines easier to follow.
Contact an Experienced Georgia Divorce Attorney
Divorces do not have to involve constant fighting between the parties with a goal of winning at all costs. If you are considering divorce, and want to discuss how you can legally get what you deserve from your divorce settlement while protecting your children, contact the compassionate and experienced family law attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum, P.C.