Many people discover that interacting with a former spouse following a divorce can be a challenge. The situation can be even more difficult if you have children with your former spouse.

It should go without saying, but the best interests of children should always come first. Divorcing parents should put aside their squabbles in order to successfully parent. Unfortunately, however, this is often easier said than done.

Listed below are just a few of the strategies that have proven successful when navigating parenting issues with a difficult ex after divorce. If your ex is making co-parenting a struggle, reach out to an experienced divorce lawyer near you for help.

Avoid Reacting

Your former spouse likely knows what upsets you and how to get the results that he or she wants from you better than anyone else. By being goaded into conflict with your ex, however, you are continuing an unhealthy pattern with your former spouse.

Rather than react when your spouse lashes out at you, it is a better idea to be calm and avoid conflict for the sake of the children.


One-on-one contact with your former spouse has the potential to result in conflict. Although you will inevitably end up speaking to your spouse on the phone or in person, it is important to limit this contact as much as possible if your ex is refusing to co-parent with you constructively.

Always Put Your Children First

Under no circumstances should children be placed in the middle of divorcing spouses. Even if children happen to express negativity toward your ex, it is best to respond by making a positive or neutral comment. Children should not be made to pick one parent over another. Speaking negatively about your ex in front of your shared children can lead to parental alienation and further legal issues.

Focus on Your Own Life

Many times, interacting with your former spouse is a frustrating experience. By dwelling on negative interactions with your former spouse, however, you will be preventing yourself from moving forward and finding happiness in your new life. The purpose of divorce is to realize your own happiness.

If you are having a difficult time moving past your former spouse, it can be helpful to speak with a mental health professional. This need not be a long term or ongoing thing, but many people discover that having someone with whom they can share their thoughts is very helpful.

When Necessary, Apologize

Some people feel frustrated when they do not receive an apology of any kind from a former spouse. Even if you do not believe that you did anything wrong, apologizing to your former spouse for any perceived slights can go a long way.

Not only should you apologize if your former spouse believes that you are responsible for doing something, it is a wise idea whenever possible to practice empathy for your spouse by imagining how you would feel if the roles were reversed.

Speak with a Knowledgeable Divorce Lawyer

The divorce process is complex. It is often difficult to determine exactly how to proceed and what should be done. What is worse, some mistakes made during divorce can end up following you for the rest of your life.

If you need the assistance of an experienced divorce attorney, do not hesitate to contact Vayman & Teitelbaum, P.C.