When you and your former spouse are going through your divorce, the idea of spending any special occasions together in the future can seem unbearable. While it is true that some couples remain unable to engage in anything other than very basic communication after a divorce, it is possible to establish an amicable relationship. Even though your custody and visitation agreement probably addresses alternating holidays, some parents later decide to share holidays. Depending upon your situation and relationship with your spouse, sharing a holiday is not always a bad idea.
More Practical for Working Parents
Not every person is able to take time off from work during the holiday season. If you expect to be working or traveling on a major holiday, having your children spend that holiday with you may not be practical. Sharing the holiday with your former spouse by spending time with them and your children on the holiday can make it easier for those who expect to travel immediately before or after the big day. Attempting to conduct your visitation as usual could make things unnecessarily complicated if you have to work.
After years of sharing holiday expenses with your spouse, the first year of paying for all holiday related preparations alone can come as an unpleasant shock to your single-income household. Planning the holidays with your former spouse can help both of you save money. Sharing the cost of food, gifts, and other items can reduce some of the stress of the holidays while avoiding double purchases. Working together can save both parties time, money, and headaches while ensuring that your mutual children have an enjoyable holiday.
Places Your Kids First
The focus during the holiday season should always be your children. Worrying about visitation schedules, arguing about pick up times, and otherwise fixating on your visitation agreement could lead to the unintentional neglect of your children. Even if your children do not feel neglected or overlooked, they may begin to feel like a burden if the majority of the holiday discussion is revolving around picking them up or dropping them off. Planning a holiday with your ex allows both of you to focus on creating a memorable experience for the children. It can also make the transition from a two-parent household to a one-parent household easier for them to adjust to.
Sharing the holidays is usually only a good idea if you and your former spouse are able to get along for extended periods of time. Even if you both believe sharing the holiday is the best choice for your situation, it is always a good idea to contact a child custody and visitation attorney. An experienced attorney is able to review your existing agreement and ensure that you do not accidentally make any choices or promises that will lead to the court order being violated. The attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum understand how complicated the first few post-divorce holidays are. Contact us today and schedule a private consultation at one of our Altlanta, Georgia area offices so that we can discuss your options.