Divorce has the potential to be a quick and uncomplicated process. Unfortunately, it is all too often the case that separating couples handle divorces poorly, which leads to numerous complications that significantly impact the lives of children. While it can be confusing to know how to respond in a divorce, there are some things that parents should never do when it comes to the kids. This article reviews six common mistakes that parents should never make when it comes to divorce.
Crying Around Your Children
Divorces can be an unpleasant time. If you feel the urge to cry or be sad, you should avoid doing it in front of your children. You should, however, feel comfortable expressing your emotions around trusted friends or a marriage counselor. Shedding a few tears around children if you are unable to prevent doing so, however, is understandable, but should be limited whenever possible.
After a divorce, emotions frequently run high and it is common to end up feeling animosity toward your former spouse. To greatly decrease the uncertainty and unease that children face during a divorce, you should make sure to co-parent in a strong and consistent manner. This communicates the messages that while some things change, you will always be the child or children’s parent.
Bad Mouthing the Other Parent
Nearly all children unconditionally love both of their parents. When you bad mouth your ex in front of your children, you are creating a negative environment that places children in an uneasy situation. A divorce occurs between two consenting adults and children have no role in the process. As a result, you should never say anything negative about their parent to your children.
Making Threats Involving the Children
Do not use your children as bargaining chips in your divorce. Doing so places your children in a toxic environment. Instead, you and your former spouse should always avoid any attempts to manipulate your children or gain loyalty over the other parent.
Letting Ambiguity Reign
It is critical to obtain a custody agreement as soon as possible. Letting any type of ambiguity control your custody arrangement, time sharing, or any other aspect of your divorce greatly increases the possibility that undesired consequences will occur. Ambiguity also increases the amount of instability experienced by your children.
Never Moving On
Some people who go through divorces let the pain that arises from the end of a marriage follow them for years and sometimes even decades. Your children rely on you to be a strong parent during this difficult time. While you should take time to mourn the loss of your marriage, you should make plans to eventually return to being the best parent that you possibly can be.
Speak with an Experienced Divorce Lawyer
If you are going through a divorce, it is understandable to feel uncertain about how to act. To make sure that you avoid making any mistakes that can substantially impact your family for years to come, it is a wise idea to speak with an experienced family law attorney. Contact Vayman & Teitelbaum P.C. today to schedule a free initial consultation.