Not being physically present for your children after you and their other parent separate is difficult to bear. It is common for parents to experience feelings of guilt, anger, and doubt once they have moved out of the home they previously shared with their children. Fortunately, there are ways to go about supporting your children during a separation that will help you cope while making sure your children know how much they are loved and appreciated.
Remember to be Patient
Do not expect your children to accept or reconcile themselves with the change in their family structure overnight. Eventually your children will completely understand what happened between you and your former partner, but it will take a great deal of time. Try your best to be patient when your children come to you confused about the situation or misunderstand that the change is probably a long-term one.
It is not unusual for parents to be less than honest with their children about certain aspects of the separation. Lying or concealing the reasons for the separation to spare your child’s feelings or to avoid an unpleasant scene can cause serious long-term problems. No matter how uncomfortable telling the truth is, it is best for your relationship and mental health. Also encourage your child to be honest with you about their feelings, thoughts, and emotions throughout the separation. Occasionally what your children says will be hard to hear, but it will help you understand how they are feeling.
If you and your children speak every night before they go to bed or at a certain time on the weekends, maintaining those routines helps reassure your child that you will always be there to provide emotional support. Once you have established a pattern, work hard to maintain it even if you are occasionally inconvenienced by it. Consistency and the establishment of new routines play a crucial role in your post-separation life with your children.
Do Not Neglect Financial Support
Issues related to child support and spousal support play a large role in many separations or divorces. Even if you do not completely agree with the amount of support you are being required or encouraged to pay, make sure your children are financially supported during the separation process. Stability is vital during any major household change, and not having access to the money needed to maintain that household can disrupt your child’s life.
Get Outside Advice
Asking for advice or help as a parent is not easy, but during a separation it is necessary. Speaking to a family law attorney can provide you with the information you need to pursue a divorce or a fair child custody agreement after your separation. The compassionate attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum realize that any relationship that involves children is difficult to end. We work with you to decide the best way to end your marriage or romantic relationship while preserving your parental relationship with your children. Contact us today to schedule an initial consultation at one of our four Atlanta, Georgia locations so that we can begin providing you with the help that you need.