It can take a man or woman years to move on after getting a divorce. A divorce is one of the most emotionally stressful and financially devastating things that a person can experience. Even a person who truly wants to end a marriage can expect to feel a sense of loss as he or she begins to rebuild a life as a single person. While moving on is not easy, there are things that you can do after your divorce to speed your healing as you gain a better understanding of yourself and the things that influenced your divorce. Remembering these three ways to move on after your divorce can help you find peace during an understandably difficult time.
Painting an ex as the bad person is natural, especially in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. Even though domestic violence does play a role in some divorces, it is important that individuals who go through a divorce where abuse was not a factor take responsibility for any roles that they played in the break up. When a marriage falls apart, there is usually mutual responsibility, and even if your ex was legitimately responsible for the majority of the problems, be honest with yourself regarding your own actions. Failing to acknowledge or fix any potential relationship problems that you caused could lead to problems in future relationships.
Do Not Isolate Yourself
Wanting to be alone is natural, especially for men who feel as though their marriage ending reflects badly on them or their masculinity. Spending some time with yourself to reflect or regroup is natural, but do not isolate yourself. Staying alone and away from your support system increases your chances of fixating on a marriage that has ended. Fixating while you are isolated may lead to idealizing the past and focusing on what you feel you have lost while overlooking all of the negative aspects of the relationship. Instead surround yourself with friends and family members who support your decision. In the time immediately following a divorce, having a strong support system will help you move on in a healthy and positive manner.
Anger is a perfectly natural post-divorce emotion to experience. Depending on the situation, you may leave your marriage with feelings of anger, outright rage, or deep resentment. No matter what happened during the divorce process, you cannot let yourself brood over it. Holding onto the pain and anger that your marriage or the divorce itself caused will not help anything, especially if you must now co-parent with that person. While you do not necessarily have to forgive your ex, trying to not hold a grudge or brood over each and every thing he or she did wrong will help you move on from your divorce more quickly.
Rely on Your Representation
No matter what your situation is, having strong legal representation that you can rely on for advice after the divorce helps. A family law attorney who can speak on your behalf allows you to take a break from the stress of communicating with an ex regarding legal matters. The attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum are always ready to act in your best interest and we understand that at times our clients need someone to step in to communicate with an estranged spouse. With offices located throughout the Atlanta metro area, we are here to provide you with a consultation whenever you are ready to move forward with your case.