The instant a married person announces his or her intentions to get a divorce, he or she often receives an abundant amount of unsolicited advice. Some of that advice may seem unrealistic or offensive, but often the most unpopular divorce advice received is ultimately what provides the most tangible help. Instead of reacting to advice that sounds unpleasant with hostility or anger, taking the information to heart can increase your chances of recovering from your divorce faster and with fewer problems.
Do Not Focus on Winning
Divorce is often portrayed as an adversarial winner-takes-all contest that forces couples to fight each other for assets, financial support, and child custody. Unfortunately, a confrontational approach usually does nothing more than prolong the divorce, creating long-term emotional and financial problems that impact your entire family. Even if you believe that you are completely in the right, try to remember that resolving things peacefully and quickly is in your best interest. Focus on finding ways to complete your divorce with limited arguments and court hearings instead of fixating on proving to the world (or the judge) that your spouse is the person at fault.
Moving Might be Inevitable
Couples often waste a great deal of time attempting to force one party or the other to relinquish rights to the marital home. Instead of seeing the house as an asset, the property becomes a symbol that represents a major victory or loss. Though it is possible that one party may have a stronger argument to justify being awarded the house, in many cases on spouse may need to pay the other spouse and co-owner for interest in the home. If you do not believe that you can afford to refinance the home or your credit on your own will not allow you to qualify for financing, moving may be unavoidable. In some cases, a spouse who is awarded a property must still move once he or she realizes that a single income is not enough to pay for the home’s upkeep.
Eventually, Communication is Necessary
At the beginning of the divorce process many angry spouses claim that they will never speak to their spouses again or that their spouses should only speak to them through an attorney. As tempting as it may be to completely ignore your estranged spouse and force him or her to relay all communications through attorneys, this stance is unrealistic. Waiting for one attorney to find time to contact another attorney makes even simple issues unnecessarily complicated and makes it difficult for a couple to reach a meaningful settlement. Talking to your spouse is something to which you must resign yourself, especially if you expect to co-parent.
Talk to an Attorney
Once you have digested the unpopular divorce opinions and advice that those around you have offered, talking to an experienced divorce attorney should be your next step. The attorneys at Vayman & Teitelbaum are prepared to offer you realistic legal advice that addresses your unique situation. With four offices throughout the Atlanta metro area, we are here to offer quality representation when you need it so contact us today to schedule an initial consultation.