Contested divorces occur when couples are unable to agree on major issues that must be resolved before the split is finalized. A certain amount of communication is necessary between either you and your spouse or your attorney and your spouse’s attorney to reach an agreement. However, working with your spouse directly with or without a mediator can increase your chances of quickly resolving issues that are prolonging the divorce ultimately saving both parties money.  Unfortunately, working with your spouse could become problematic and lead to more disputes if negotiations turn into verbal battles. Deciding if you should work with your spouse during your divorce requires a certain level of honesty with yourself about your own personal feelings and your ability to communicate effectively with an estranged spouse.

Does Your Ex Listen?

One of the most important parts of communication is the ability to listen to the other party. Does your spouse listen to you when you talk about major issues? If your spouse is not going to listen to your concerns about property division, supporting mutual children financially, and other issues, then trying to work with him or her to resolve divorce disputes may be a waste of time. A person who will not listen to you is probably not going to take your concerns seriously or work with you to find a mutually beneficial solution.

Is Your Ex Trustworthy?

Just because you and your spouse are no longer able to continue as a married couple does not necessarily mean that you do not trust him or her. When you and your spouse are attempting to negotiate without a mediator or communicate in general, you must be able to trust that he or she will not take advantage of anything said in confidence. A spouse who is dishonest or untrustworthy could later use things said during negotiations against you. In some cases, your ex may even use the time you think is dedicated to coming to an agreement to cement his or her own post-divorce finances by researching your credit, business, or assets while hiding his or her own.

Who is Your Ex’s Attorney?

Even if your spouse is the kindest and most reasonable person you know, those qualities mean nothing if he or she is represented by an attorney who is notoriously aggressive. Working with your spouse towards an amicable resolution is impossible when his or her attorney is prepared to use every method available to make sure you get the least advantageous settlement imaginable.  Ask your spouse who is representing him or her and verify the information provided before becoming emotionally invested in working with them to come to a resolution that does not involve litigation.

Get Advice from a Professional

Communicating with your spouse is often recommended as a way to reduce the legal costs of your divorce while keeping major decisions out of the hands of a judge. However, not every spouse is someone who can be trusted to collaborate during a contested divorce that does not seem overly complicated. Before making any decisions on how to proceed, talk to a divorce attorney who can give you legal advice based on the cases he or she has handled in the past. The team at Vayman & Teitelbaum are dedicated to providing our clients with honest legal representation that leads to verifiable results. Contact one of our offices located throughout the Atlanta area today to schedule a consultation.