While it is true that no marriage is exactly the same as another, couples often also believe that there are a number of common reasons that people decide to divorce. Recent research performed by professors at the University of California, Berkley and The Gottman Institute reveals that many divorces can be predicted based on just a few different types of behavior. If you are concerned that your marriage is headed toward divorce, it can be helpful to understand what the most common warning signs of divorce might be.
Lack of Arguments
While it is never a good thing for couples to argue, it is often much more troubling if a couple never argues at all. You should be watchful if you or your partner feel like you want to argue, but instead choose to ignore eachother and bury those feelings. This type of behavior pattern suggests that a couple’s ability to effectively argue, and thus communicate, is substantially damaged.
Contempt
Contempt is a particularly bad sign that could indicate the end of a marriage. In the case of contempt, many spouses end up regarding the other spouse with disdain, scorn, or even disgust. As a result of these emotions, it often becomes difficult if not impossible for couples to effectively communicate with each other. If you are no longer able to be compassionate to your spouse, it is important to consider whether contempt is taking over your relationship.
Criticism
Criticism can be hard to endure, particularly when it comes from a spouse. While it is true that all people have faults, when you begin to view your spouse’s faults as character flaws, it is common to cause hurt feelings. In time, this hurt can grow to fear of being scrutinized. In many cases, people report that criticism often occurs contemporaneously with contempt during the dissolution of a marriage. After years or decades of criticism, some spouses decide to no longer remain married.
Defensiveness
Spouses who refuse to admit when they are wrong or who do not acknowledge their shortcomings are at risk of creating great emotional distance between themselves and their partners. Defensive spouses can make communication much more challenging, which can eventually lead to divorce. Without being able to adequately address errors in a marriage, many couples discover that their marriage gradually weakens over time until a divorce becomes necessary.
Speak with an Experienced Divorce LawyerIf you notice any of these patterns in your relationship or believe that divorce is imminent, it is often a wise idea to speak with an experienced attorney. Contact Vayman & Teitelbaum P.C. to schedule an initial case evaluation. We have helped many people navigate divorce and know what it takes to make sure that your case resolves in a positive manner.