There are numerous advantages that couples realize through using mediation to divorce. Not only is mediation less stressful and saves on costs, but mediation can also help couples quickly and easily agree on the terms of a divorce. Mediation, however, is not a suitable option for every divorcing couple. While a knowledgeable divorce attorney can help you understand whether mediation is a good idea for your situation, there are some times when mediation is simply not suitable. The following will consider the times when mediation is likely not the best option for a divorcing couple.
Marriages Involving Either Abuse or Domestic Violence
Most abusive relationships involve an imbalance of power. In many situations, one abusive spouse relies on the use of harm or the threat of harm to keep control over the other individual. It is important to understand, however, that domestic violence can include much more than physical abuse. Instead, domestic violence can include things like emotional abuse, financial abuse, and sexual abuse. If you are in the process of leaving a marriage that involves any type of abuse, mediation is seldom a good idea choice due to the lack of balance in power between the former spouses.
Marriages Involving Financial Fraud
A large number of the issues that are involved during divorce mediation address finances. To successfully negotiate the terms of a divorce, both spouses must directly and honestly communicate about what assets they own, their income, and their debts. If your spouse is attempting to hide assets or lie about his or her financial situation, mediation will be much less helpful. If you believe that your spouse will provide a less than accurate depiction of his or her financial situation, you should pursue other options.
Marriages Involving Many Conflicts
Mediation requires the divorcing couple to be able to calmly and rationally discuss the applicable issues. If a couple is unable to look past their disagreements to settle on what is best for everyone, they will be unable to negotiate the terms of the divorce. If your divorce involves high-conflict or many arguments, mediation will likely not work for you.
You Cannot Accept the Other Party’s Perspective
It is easy for even the most open-minded individuals to argue that their perspective during a divorce is the only correct one. If mediation is to work, you must accept that the other spouse had an experience that is vastly different from yours. If you or your spouse are determined to argue or disagree about one another's versions of things, mediation will not work. If you cannot agree on one version of things, mediation is not for you.
Speak with an Experienced Family Law Attorney
For some divorces, mediation is a good idea. Mediation, however, is not suitable for the end of every marriage. If you are considering a divorce and are not certain what option is best for you, it can help to speak with an experienced divorce attorney. Speak with Vayman & Teitelbaum, PC today.